Avoiding Collisions

In 1972, my wife, my parents, and myself were driving back to my parents' house from a family gathering. I was driving their new Buick that had 750 miles on the odometer. We were on a two-lane highway and approaching a curve. As we drove south, another car going north crossed into our lane as we entered the curve. With no room to swerve and no time to stop, we collided head on. Fortunately, we all survived with minor injuries and a great deal of soreness. The driver of the other car was intoxicated. While my parents' new car was totaled, we were spared.

In my files I discovered an article that I had saved from March 8, 2009.

"A small rock designated 2009 DD45 and measuring 60-150 feet in length

missed the earth early on the morning of March 7, 2009, by a scant

40,000-46,000 miles. While it was considered a small rock, a small rock

of approximately the same size struck the area around the Tunguska River

in central Siberia, Russia, in 1908. It destroyed millions of trees in the Taiga

Forest, totally flattening 830 square miles."

While some car accidents can be avoided while others cannot, we are totally lacking in the ability to control the path of "small or large rocks" flying through space. However, there are many other types of collisions that happen everyday that could be prevented. Even poor old Humpty Dumpty whose fall to the ground was so severe he could not be put back together by all the king's horses and all the king's men. If only someone had intervened before the fall, maybe Humpty Dumpty would have not fallen. Everyday, things collide with other things resulting in various types of destruction. Collisions happen in relationships, in churches, in nations, and in cultures.

So what are some ways to avoid collisions in our multiple connections in our lives? Here are some of my suggestions that could help avoid collisions in real world relationships.

• Listen more and speak less. It is so tempting to get in the first blow by stating your own case without ever hearing what another person is trying to say or present. When my son was around four, he told me he wanted a motorcycle. Having seen people killed or severely injured in motorcycle accidents, I began a strong "Dad" speech about how they were dangerous and as long as he lived in my house he would never have a motorcycle. As the tears flowed from his disappointment, he managed to say, "But Daddy, it is red and little and only costs a dollar at the toy store." Make a special effort to understand what others are saying. Most of our major conflicts and collisions are results of misunderstandings or are over matters of little consequence.

  
  

• Maintain realistic expectations of your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, your co-workers, your classmates, and even your church. The painful truth is that not one of us is perfect. We all have some strengths and some weaknesses. And the Bible reminds us that all of us (without exception) are sinners and have fallen short of the Glory of God (Romans 3:23).

  
  

• Change is always happening. Over the years better methods are developed; new information is discovered; people move into different environments and cultures; and local traditions are often replaced or modified by more global traditions. While we are all being touched by changes (some we like and some we detest), everyone else is being touched by changes as well. Remembering that we are all being faced with change can help us to be more understanding and less collision minded with others.

  
  

• The Golden Rule. "And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them."

  (Luke 6:31 ESV) One young boy was asked why he had hit his sister. He replied that he was just following the Golden Rule. "She hit me so I knew that meant that she wanted me to hit her." Too many of us as adults are still following that misinterpretation of the Golden Rule.

There are many other suggestions that could be listed to help us avoid collisions in all of our relationships. Wouldn't it be great if governments and cultures would seek to avoid collisions. I have little to no influence on governments or on rocks that fly around our planet, but I can make a concerted effort to find and employee ways to avoid collisions within my relationships.

This week might be a good time to begin with a first step of listening more and speaking less. A collision or two might be avoided as a result.